I was asked yesterday if I was “very religious,” and for a moment I was tempted to say no. It would have been cooler and trendier to reply, “I don’t prescribe to religions, but I do consider myself a serious follower of Jesus Christ,” or “I’m not religious, just madly in love with God.” Maybe if this were ten or fifteen years ago, I’d say, “No, dude, I’m just a Jesus Freak!”
But… am I a Jesus Freak? Am I considered an outcast of society because my actions are in line with what Jesus taught but against the grain of everyone around me? Am I really madly in love with an invisible deity? No, no, and… no. Serious followers of Jesus Christ don’t merely ascribe to an arbitrary set of moral rules and get together a few times a week to celebrate their sameness. Serious followers give up their lives, their plans, their dreams, the things they love, and set their eyes only on God’s promises. They drop their nets and go.
My Christian faith has once again faded and blended into the weird mosaic that is my personal identity, instead of shining bright and over-lighten-ing the other patches and patterns. Christ is my only identity, not just my Sunday-morning and Friday-evening mask.
So, at the moment, yes, I am very religious. Deeply religious. I’ve grown up with religion my entire life, and it is ingrained into my being. But I still fall in and out of love- true love- with Jesus Christ, and still haven’t let go of myself in order to grasp onto Him and let Him lead me.
Here’s to hoping that will change soon. Here’s to the belief that I can overcome my disbelief. One day, I’ll say that I love Him, and it won’t be because I’m supposed to, but because I do.
Ahhh.....you hit the nail on the head, for me at least. Something I've always struggled with "growing up Christian"......I don't want to confuse religion with relationship, but when it seems like nothing's happening and that we *can't* love Him as we should, we just have to keep on with our routines- Bible, prayer, church- "religion", and trust God to meet us at these places. Imagine Joseph sitting in prison for years waiting for *someone* to tell Pharaoh about him, thinking "Ok God, remember I'm still here?" And then one day it happened. Because all God's promises consist of asking and then having Him supply: joy, faith, love. I know that He will.......
ReplyDelete~Theresa
Haha, I just watched "Joseph, King of Dreams" (the Dreamworks movie) the other evening with Rhiannan, and boy, was that scene corny. It went the whole nine yards- cheesy inspirational music, montage of a withered vine growing into a leafy tree and flashbacks of the previous forty-five minutes of story, light shining into the dungeon from above, and somehow, Joseph remains as handsome as ever. Just a little scruffy from not having shaved.
ReplyDeleteBut as Liz Keck would say, "Life is never like the montage."
LOL hey! I love that part! :0) I'm just a sucker for cheesiness. But seriously, I totally feel you on the 'religious' vs. 'Jesus Freak' thing. Sometimes I'm like going to church twice a week, and large group, and small group leader meetings, and everything I can possibly think of, and it just doesn't make up for truly being in the right mindset and truly loving God and letting him control every moment of my life. I try, God knows I try, but there are times when for whatever reason I don't 'get' there. I'm just going through the motions. Usually it's around then that a retreat comes, though. Those really help.
ReplyDelete