"Religious"

I was asked yesterday if I was “very religious,” and for a moment I was tempted to say no. It would have been cooler and trendier to reply, “I don’t prescribe to religions, but I do consider myself a serious follower of Jesus Christ,” or “I’m not religious, just madly in love with God.” Maybe if this were ten or fifteen years ago, I’d say, “No, dude, I’m just a Jesus Freak!”

But… am I a Jesus Freak? Am I considered an outcast of society because my actions are in line with what Jesus taught but against the grain of everyone around me? Am I really madly in love with an invisible deity? No, no, and… no. Serious followers of Jesus Christ don’t merely ascribe to an arbitrary set of moral rules and get together a few times a week to celebrate their sameness. Serious followers give up their lives, their plans, their dreams, the things they love, and set their eyes only on God’s promises. They drop their nets and go.

My Christian faith has once again faded and blended into the weird mosaic that is my personal identity, instead of shining bright and over-lighten-ing the other patches and patterns. Christ is my only identity, not just my Sunday-morning and Friday-evening mask.

So, at the moment, yes, I am very religious. Deeply religious. I’ve grown up with religion my entire life, and it is ingrained into my being. But I still fall in and out of love- true love- with Jesus Christ, and still haven’t let go of myself in order to grasp onto Him and let Him lead me.

Here’s to hoping that will change soon. Here’s to the belief that I can overcome my disbelief. One day, I’ll say that I love Him, and it won’t be because I’m supposed to, but because I do.